The Soundtrack To My Sex Life

Music is something deeply specific to each person. I believe it would be impossible for there to be two people who had exactly the same taste and responses to sound. It is simply too personal. And yet it unites us all. I’ve never met anyone who didn’t enjoy some form of music. I read somewhere that that is because melody, rhythm and harmony are universally pleasing to the human brain, so that no matter what our tastes may be, we will always enjoy something. Finding someone who shares your tastes closely enough to be able to agree on sex music, however, is still a big ask. No one on my (admittedly short) list of ex-lovers had anywhere near my taste in music, although I did try to find common ground for the purposes of creating a kinky soundtrack to use in *intimate* moments. Music has always made me feel sexy, and want to move; it can completely control my mood, so that my emotions follow the melody and my pulse throbs in time with the beat. I am constantly on the hunt for new music, and my preferred listening material ranges widely across genres. But as I put together this playlist, I did notice a leaning towards the industrial, synth-pop, EBM side of things, and decided to make that the overall theme. I think that goes perfectly with who I am as a sexual being, or rather, sex pest.

Some of my picks are outrageous fuck-songs that I listen to alone and think about what an amazing sex life I’ll have one day when I find someone who has the same musical taste as me, and others that are attached to some real-life memories. I hope you guys are ready for the filth. Enjoy.


VNV Nation - Control

This track is a recent discovery of mine, that I heard first heard on the dancefloor while out at a goth/alt night in Cardiff. I googled the lyrics when I got home and have been playing it on heavy rotation, especially when I'm making art or working. The energy in this song is incredible. Hearing lead singer Ronan Harris growl 'I want control' right before the base drops is enough to get me there, to be perfectly honest.  

Nine Inch Nails - Closer

I've made a lot of art about this song, and I listen to it at least once a week. It's one of my favourite all-time tracks, not just something I put on to get in the mood for a shag. I relate deeply to the lyrics and with Trent Reznor's narrative of sex as escape - freedom from one's self. It mixes the absolutely base primal impulses and compulsions with death-like transcendance perfectly. The line 'you get me closer to god' is everything.

Lana Del Rey - Lolita

Almost everything by Lana is incredibly sexy and sensual, and perfect for setting a darkly romantic mood. I love her soft ghetto Lolita vibe, and she gets away with whispering some pretty provocative lyrics. If you're looking for them (as I am) you'll notice she plays many different sexual roles and characters in her videos, which are unfailingly steamy. I can't help thinking that her mind works very much the way mine does, and I'm pretty sure I'll adore her forever. It was hard picking just one track but in the end I went with this one for its overall theme and, and I like this home-made montage video.

Combichrist - This Shit Will Fuck You Up

Well, heck, what can I say about this song? It's not for the faint-hearted. If you can handle the absolutely relentless speed of it then it's a great one to lose yourself to. Combichrist are actually an amazing band within the industrial rock genre, who have churned out some epic goth-trance bangers over the years. Check out 'Get Your Body Beat'  and 'Fuck Machine' as well if you like the sound of them. 

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