A Week On A Fetish App

For introverted kinksters, the dating world can sometimes be fraught with anxieties and awkwardness. It's hard enough, in jarring fleshy reality, to figure out if someone might be interested in you at all, let alone appreciate your enthusiasm for being slapped across the face or wearing a fluffy butt plug and meowing like a cat. Adding kinks into the mix only makes things more complicated. It can become a minefield of subtle hinting and what feels like huge emotional risk. I don't have a very good freak-radar, and often find out people are completely closed to trying new things only once it's too late and my heart is already committed. Where do you turn when, for whatever reason, you don't want to deal with guesswork, and get straight down to kinks? Scrolling through Tinder can be laborious if you have rare and demanding needs. There's FetLife, of course, and CollarSpace. Both useful and well-trodden websites, if you're at your desktop. The good thing about those two is that it's easy to fish-out genuine kinksters and experienced fetishists, rather than the simply horny and curious type of single guy that frequent most dating apps, hoping to meet sexually confident women. But neither are the swiping, kinky singleton-market of dreams.

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At first glance, KinkD does feel like a sort of Tinder for fetishists, and that impression isn't totally misguided; however, KinkD is brand new and still a raw, slippery baby of an app, with inbox errors and a confusing layout. Absolutely anyone can send you a message, not only your matches, and setting up a profile is as anonymous as you want it to be, no Facebook login required. Get your blocking finger lubed-up, pals, if you want to try this app. It's difficult to exist as a woman online - to exist as a kinky woman is just that little bit harder. There's nothing fun, or flattering, about having to sift through threats to find the sparks of rapport and excitement. What I find most tiring though, strangely, is the relentless stream of approaches that are simply not right for me; a barrage of stabs in the dark from men who haven't read my profile, begging to be beaten, to be punched in their tiny dick, to be my loyal minion; the profiles with no avatar who send an intrepid "hey" four times in a row. Within 24 hours I received over 300 messages. There are so many ways to like, heart, wink, message, and match with people that it's difficult to bundle together your faves in one place, which means the good ones are easily lost. Some use cringe and hilarious usernames. "CumEaterBoy3000" (not to be confused with that imposter, CumEaterBoy4000), "Vindaloo", and "SlipperyFun4U" were some of my personal favourites. Not as people, I'm sure you understand. 

So, did I find what I was looking for on KinkD? Yes, mostly. Due to technical errors, it was impossible to clear my inbox, and deleted conversations kept reappearing; I had to engage my intuition and be more ruthless about asking myself, "do I trust this person enough to share my blog or phone number?" which actually resulted in less time wasted. I have plans to meet one prospective Dom, which is very exciting, but I no longer actually use the app now that I've rinsed it of suited and bearded daddies. If KinkD can fix its messaging problems, and take a little more care to enhance the user-experience for women, then it may become a haven for kinky people. Until then, I think it's somewhere they can go, but not somewhere they can stay.

A Little LUSH Haul (And Cardiff Spa Opening!)

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I never thought I'd have so much in my LUSH stash that I would feel compelled to spread the love and give some away to friends and family, but recently that's exactly the position I've found myself in. Having a mate who works for one of my all-time favourite companies, I end up going in there to so often and picking up samples, hauls, and little treats. On top of that, LUSH recently opened their Cardiff Spa mega-store, and I was lucky enough to be invited along to the press night to take a tour around all the treatment rooms and see the new shop. I'm sure most of my Cardiff-based readers will have already been in to town and visited the new store, but if you haven't, make sure you do. You'll love the upcycled, minimalist, industrial interior. I was blown away by the treatment rooms and just how unique and immersive the spa experience has been designed to be. Soon I'll be having my first ever LUSH spa treatment, The Comforter?, and I'll be blogging all about that too, so keep an eye out!

For now I'm going to take you through some of the absolute best products I've bought or received as presents lately. I must start with Tea Tree Water, as I've been using it every day as my toner for several weeks now, and it's delightful. For the price (it's £4.75 for a small one, which has lasted me a couple of months) it's a great quality, refreshing toner that actually feels like it's doing your skin some medicinal good. I will be re-purchasing. Next up is Mask Of Magnanimity, swiftly becoming my favourite mask. The texture of this is mouse-like and grainy at the same time, and it smells and feels almost as if you're smearing mint chocolate chip ice cream on your face. I've been using it more often than is required and have definitely noticed an improvement in my skin, and fewer breakouts. Pearl massage bar has been my go-to post-shower moisture shot; it's in the Rose Jam family, so it smells almost spiritual. Enzymion is the facial moisturiser that my skin wants right now, as it's packed with lemon juice, and in the summer my skin wants to feel light, matte, and fresh. I'll be buying a full pot when I next splash out, and maybe one of the exclusive body sprays from the Cardiff store. I've got my eye on the scent version of Twilight.