How I Practise Magic In My Daily Life

I was raised in a Pagan family. Every year we celebrated Samhain as well as Halloween, with candlelight and midnight dancing, tequila on the kitchen table for the adults, no bedtime for the kids. I learned the relationships between colours, planets, stones, elements, emotions. I learned how to feel at home in the forest, and I learned how to let go. I was taught that animals are friends, not food, and I still believe that now. I became a person who wants to make everything around her more beautiful. Someone who is kind, I hope. Magic was such a huge part of my upbringing, a way of living; so much less about ritual than simply a way of interacting with the world. As a result, people often misunderstand what I mean when I talk about magic. To me, magic is in the way certain people always know just what you need, or in the way they can bring any dying creature back to life. Science is magical, and magic is not unscientific. Magic is just pure creation. It is influence and control over ourselves, not over others. It is cherishing the earth; something most of us have forgotten how to do.

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I do many things to bring more magic into my life. I grow plants in my home. Having living things around me, growing and flourishing and being born over and over again helps me stay in tune with the seasons and with the needs of other life forms. It reminds me of the cyclical nature of life, and of my eventual insignificance, and simultaneous preciousness.

I draw a tarot card when I get up in the morning, or sometimes I pluck a book off my shelves, close my eyes and point to a sentence at random. Whether you believe in the Tarot or not, doing this will bring things from your subconscious into your conscious mind, allowing them to be processed and worked through. 

I make a ritual bath. By this I don't mean just throwing in a bath bomb or two, but of course you can do that! What I tend to do is think of what I want to achieve (do I want to feel sexual, calm, safe, to get a good night's sleep?) and then work synesthetically around that. I use colours, scents, flowers, products, and temperatures that work together to change my physiological and mental state. 

I try to stay in tune with the phases of the moon, with Pagan festivals, and on a wider scale, the seasons of the year. You can do this with an app, an almanac, or even a good daily diary. Eventually it becomes a habit. I've always been a moon-worshipper by nature and I look to her instinctively on nights when I feel happy and alive, to give thanks. I'm also guilty of screaming "THERE'S BLOOD ON THE MOON" at the slightest wisp of red.

I enjoy reading my horoscope, but not every witch does. I personally don't think you have to believe in astrology for it to bring you inspiration. A good astrologer speaks like a philosopher, and can trigger realisations without faith. For an in-depth monthly forecast, I go to Susan Miller, and for weekly poetic insight I check out Madame Clairvoyant. Refinery29 and Teen Vogue also do cool horoscopes.

I write down my dreams, and use them in my writing and in my art. During stressful periods of my life, I suffer with sleep paralysis, which causes intense lucid dreams and hallucinations. I try to view them as a creative gift, rather than a curse, and just a part of my own personal magic. I draw, write down, or even come up with a photograph to record what I saw in my dreams.

I chat to other witches. If you don't know any who live near you, why not set up a WhatsApp group or online Coven? Having that support and understanding is invaluable and can help you learn so much, just by asking questions and sharing your experiences with other witchy people. Try filling your Twitter feed with magic too; I recommend Audrey Kitching, Anastasjia Louise, and The Hoodwitch for starters.

Dancing, lastly, is one of the most vital ways I stay in touch with my power and with myself as a woman. Whether I'm doing it on stage, in private, at home, on a dance-floor or in a field, through dancing I can work myself into a trance-like state where I feel most free and uninhibited. That's where the magic happens. 

Why We Should All Be Using More Lube

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This post contains paid-for content, see my PR page for details


There are loads of shitty ideas out there about how sex (and vaginas, especially) ought to be, and frankly I'm sick of it. In my honest opinion, everybody should be using lube as a sex enhancement simply because it makes sex feel better for everyone, as well as helping minimize any chances of injury. You're not broken if you need lube. Whether you own a foreskin or a vagina, make "the wetter the better" your personal sex mantra. Forget whatever you may have heard from magazines or clueless partners about how your sex organs are supposed to work, and start doing what feels good. Lube can make it easier to get aroused, to stay aroused, and even to orgasm. Read on if you want to get the most out of your lubricant.

Lube Is Not A Shortcut: Lube isn't designed as a replacement for being properly turned-on. This misconception convinces some people that it is fine to rush ahead with sex as long as everything is wet, or makes them think that if they get wet on their own they have no need for it, neither of which is true. The reason we need lubricant is because our bodies can only produce so much even if we are completely gagging for it; foreplay is still required so that vaginal/anal muscles are relaxed. If you're finding sex is painful even if you're slathering on lots of lube, it might just be because you're skipping all the completely essential preparation. If you want to have prolonged, strenuous, rough or adventurous sex then you absolutely should be using a lubricant and enjoying lots of foreplay to make it as pleasurable as it can be for all parties. And just so we're all clear, SPIT IS NOT LUBE. Spit is fun, safe and fine to use during sex, but it is not lubricant. It is not the same consistency as natural moisture, and will only get you so far. If you spit all over a vagina it is only going to wash away and water-down any juices that are being produced. Enough already.

You Can Find A Lube For Every Occasion: The more tailored to you it is, the better sex will feel. Having the right thing to hand makes all the difference. For example, if you enjoy rough sex, anal, or want to play with large toys, then a thick lube like Generous Gel is what you're after. If you like a realistic feel that you'll hardly know is there, go for Stay Silky Serum. For a super thin, spit-like texture you would get from oral, try Little Light Liquid. All Smile Makers lubes are vegan-friendly, as well as body-safe, water-based, and condom-compatible. They only contain a handful of ingredients (the fewer the better) and come in dressing-table worthy, minimalist, and sensual packaging. No garish fonts or gaudy colours here. This range is all unscented and unflavoured, but I can definitely see an opportunity for Smile Makers to add a couple of subtly-garnished products to their offerings. I could totally imagine sweet and understated tastes like rose, vanilla, candy floss, or green apple working really well with their brand. The thing I like most about them is that they never feel sticky, like other lubricants can, and are pretty much undetectable once applied. They have never irritated my skin or stained my sheets, either. For all these reasons, they are my go-to no matter what kind of sex is on the cards. If you give them a go, send me a tweet or let me know in the comments, and if you just want to chat about lube I'm totally here for that too.

A Week On A Fetish App

For introverted kinksters, the dating world can sometimes be fraught with anxieties and awkwardness. It's hard enough, in jarring fleshy reality, to figure out if someone might be interested in you at all, let alone appreciate your enthusiasm for being slapped across the face or wearing a fluffy butt plug and meowing like a cat. Adding kinks into the mix only makes things more complicated. It can become a minefield of subtle hinting and what feels like huge emotional risk. I don't have a very good freak-radar, and often find out people are completely closed to trying new things only once it's too late and my heart is already committed. Where do you turn when, for whatever reason, you don't want to deal with guesswork, and get straight down to kinks? Scrolling through Tinder can be laborious if you have rare and demanding needs. There's FetLife, of course, and CollarSpace. Both useful and well-trodden websites, if you're at your desktop. The good thing about those two is that it's easy to fish-out genuine kinksters and experienced fetishists, rather than the simply horny and curious type of single guy that frequent most dating apps, hoping to meet sexually confident women. But neither are the swiping, kinky singleton-market of dreams.

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At first glance, KinkD does feel like a sort of Tinder for fetishists, and that impression isn't totally misguided; however, KinkD is brand new and still a raw, slippery baby of an app, with inbox errors and a confusing layout. Absolutely anyone can send you a message, not only your matches, and setting up a profile is as anonymous as you want it to be, no Facebook login required. Get your blocking finger lubed-up, pals, if you want to try this app. It's difficult to exist as a woman online - to exist as a kinky woman is just that little bit harder. There's nothing fun, or flattering, about having to sift through threats to find the sparks of rapport and excitement. What I find most tiring though, strangely, is the relentless stream of approaches that are simply not right for me; a barrage of stabs in the dark from men who haven't read my profile, begging to be beaten, to be punched in their tiny dick, to be my loyal minion; the profiles with no avatar who send an intrepid "hey" four times in a row. Within 24 hours I received over 300 messages. There are so many ways to like, heart, wink, message, and match with people that it's difficult to bundle together your faves in one place, which means the good ones are easily lost. Some use cringe and hilarious usernames. "CumEaterBoy3000" (not to be confused with that imposter, CumEaterBoy4000), "Vindaloo", and "SlipperyFun4U" were some of my personal favourites. Not as people, I'm sure you understand.

So, did I find what I was looking for on KinkD? Yes, mostly. Due to technical errors, it was impossible to clear my inbox, and deleted conversations kept reappearing; I had to engage my intuition and be more ruthless about asking myself, "do I trust this person enough to share my blog or phone number?" which actually resulted in less time wasted. I have plans to meet one prospective Dom, which is very exciting, but I no longer actually use the app now that I've rinsed it of suited and bearded daddies. If KinkD can fix its messaging problems, and take a little more care to enhance the user-experience for women, then it may become a haven for kinky people. Until then, I think it's somewhere they can go, but not somewhere they can stay.

A Little LUSH Haul (And Cardiff Spa Opening!)

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I never thought I'd have so much in my LUSH stash that I would feel compelled to spread the love and give some away to friends and family, but recently that's exactly the position I've found myself in. Having a mate who works for one of my all-time favourite companies, I end up going in there to so often and picking up samples, hauls, and little treats. On top of that, LUSH recently opened their Cardiff Spa mega-store, and I was lucky enough to be invited along to the press night to take a tour around all the treatment rooms and see the new shop. I'm sure most of my Cardiff-based readers will have already been in to town and visited the new store, but if you haven't, make sure you do. You'll love the upcycled, minimalist, industrial interior. I was blown away by the treatment rooms and just how unique and immersive the spa experience has been designed to be. Soon I'll be having my first ever LUSH spa treatment, The Comforter?, and I'll be blogging all about that too, so keep an eye out!


For now I'm going to take you through some of the absolute best products I've bought or received as presents lately. I must start with Tea Tree Water, as I've been using it every day as my toner for several weeks now, and it's delightful. For the price (it's £4.75 for a small one, which has lasted me a couple of months) it's a great quality, refreshing toner that actually feels like it's doing your skin some medicinal good. I will be re-purchasing. Next up is Mask Of Magnanimity, swiftly becoming my favourite mask. The texture of this is mouse-like and grainy at the same time, and it smells and feels almost as if you're smearing mint chocolate chip ice cream on your face. I've been using it more often than is required and have definitely noticed an improvement in my skin, and fewer breakouts. Pearl massage bar has been my go-to post-shower moisture shot; it's in the Rose Jam family, so it smells almost spiritual. Enzymion is the facial moisturiser that my skin wants right now, as it's packed with lemon juice, and in the summer my skin wants to feel light, matte, and fresh. I'll be buying a full pot when I next splash out, and maybe one of the exclusive body sprays from the Cardiff store. I've got my eye on the scent version of Twilight.

Recent Cruelty-Free Beauty Favourites

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Lately, I've been rejuvenating my skin and hair care routines; focusing on natural, cruelty-free products, and picking up bits that have helped me reshape and properly tailor my regimen to my needs. In recent months I've been far too lazy with it all, and my skin and hair really paid the price. I went to bed wearing my makeup too many times, and had gotten to a point where washing my face in the morning felt like a chore, not a ritual. When it wasn't full up with temporary colour, my hair was dry from bleaching. I'd grown out nearly six inches of fresh roots, but I still needed to give my lengths a bit more TLC. I had fallen totally out of love with beauty, and knew it was time for a spring clean.

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First, I started with my combination skin. I decided to take a Korean-inspired approach, and build a more specialized routine. Instead of going back to a brisk cleanse, tone, and moisturise, I gradually introduced more steps and built a skincare ritual that aims to clean and tighten my pores, balance redness, and help with hormonal breakouts. I picked up two serums, LUSH Full Of Grace and Tropic Super Greens. The latter is about as close as I've found to a holy grail product; it leaves my skin feeling smoother, calmer, and healthier, like a literal green smoothie for your face. It fades any blemishes whilst not clogging up pores with oil. I love how I look in the morning now, thanks to this serum. Full Of Grace has had less of a trial as I'm keeping it at my boyfriend's house, but I'm still loving it. It's packed with calamine powder, Portobello mushrooms, and chamomile blue oil, and it sinks beautifully into the skin without any greasiness.

When it comes to my hair, I need to be careful to provide enough moisture without over-saturating my mop with heavy products. Regardless of the colour I'm sporting, the Hempz Blushing Grapefruit And Raspberry shampoo and conditioner have been treating me really well; they smell sweet and fruity, and not at all like hemp. I even use the conditioner as a mask or a pastel-iser for my hair dye, and it works a treat.

On my body, I've been trying out the new The Body Shop Almond Milk And Honey range. For me, the standout is the body butter. I've always been a big fan of Body Shop body butters; the formula is pretty perfect for dry or thirsty skin, and they have a cult following for a good reason. The cleansing bar was a nice surprise, a product I wouldn't try but ended up loving. Instead of using it on my face I use it to gently cleanse my neck, decolletage and chest, where regular soaps or shower gels can be a bit too harsh for me. All of the products seem to go a long way as well, which is a huge plus if you're slathering yourself daily, trying to be rid of the scaly hide you've grown over winter and emerge, dolphin-like, into spring. As I am.

One last thing I really want to mention is the Body Shop BB Cream. I fell in love with this product in Morocco, after picking it up in Stansted airport for a tenner. Since I bought it, I haven't worn regular foundation, only this and a bit of concealer. My skin is thanking me for the change, and I'll definitely be re-purchasing soon. It does a great job of adapting to my pale yellow-toned skin, and not aggravating any breakouts. I get so many more "your skin looks lovely" kinda compliments now that I use this, which is not the most important thing in the world, but sure is pleasant.

Some of the products here were sent for review/as pr samples, but as always my review is completely honest, see my pr page for more details

A Big LUSH Haul

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Somehow, I've unwittingly managed to pick up a humongous LUSH haul over the last couple of months. It all started at Christmas, when I got a gift box of bath bombs big enough to last me all year. Then, I got another one for my birthday - plus extra individual products from friends and family. My stash of ballistics is now bordering on the ridiculous, but I'm not complaining. I go around raving about LUSH for a reason. They really are my favourite beauty brand, perhaps my favourite brand period. I never get anywhere near boredom with their stuff; there are always more products I want to try, and that is an incredible skill for a company to possess. The hype is real.

I won't take you through every single product I have in my haul, although you get the idea from these pictures just how much there is. I'll try to stick to highlights and things I'm extra excited to try. My first mention has to go to Prince Charming Shower Cream. This stuff is insane. The smell is one of the most edible LUSH scents, infused with vanilla, marshmallow, pomegranate and grapefruit. All together, they make a kind of raspberry-sorbet smell that lingers on your skin for hours. I use it as shampoo as well, and it leaves my bleached rose hair soft and manageable. A standout bath ballistic was Over And Over, as it wasn't the kind of thing I would normally buy for myself, and yet it gave me one of my best baths in recent memory. A legendary bath, even - soft and moisturising water, with the sweet and fruity scent of summertime ice lollies, mango, and orange. My number one bomb will probably always be The Experimenter, with it's mouth-watering, earthy scent of churches, bonfires, and libraries, so I'm branching out a little in that direction with my The Experimenter Gift Box. This box is a godsend for anyone who likes the woodsy, vetiver-type scents, or the most colourful waters. All my biggest loves are in here; Sex Bomb, a bed of rose and jasmine; Guardian Of The Forest, packed with oakwood and cypress oil; and Twilight, a sleepy mix of lavender and earthy vanilla.

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The Little Dragon reusable bubble bar was an unexpected discovery. Filled with cinnamon, ginger, and clove, it's a warm and fiery gem that would be perfect if you had a cold or needed a pick-me-up. I've only used a small amount so I'm going to save the rest for when I'm really under the weather. I'm also a newly-converted fan of Butterbear, a gentle ballistic that has the soothing air of baby-powder or marshmallows. It's not available year-round but you can still get it in a Festive Friends box if you love the Christmas products. I should add before I go that NONE of these were gifted products or samples, and this post isn't sponsored in any way - I just really love all of it. And as always, more than happy to talk LUSH in the comments!

Why Every Woman Should Get A Vibrator For Valentine's Day

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*This post contains paid for content, see my pr page for details*


I've been collecting sex toys for about 4 years. I always have an open tab on the sale section of a kink store or vibrator emporium, like most people would with their fave clothing shop. Everyone has their thing. This is my thing. I've tried nearly the entire Smile Makers range (I'm obsessed with their lubricant, I don't even care who knows) and today, for Valentine's Day, I want to tell you exactly why I think we should all be trying more toys.

They Free You From Always Needing A Partner - Everyone goes through times when they want to be alone, or when casual sex is unappealing, or when, for whatever reason, sex with another human isn't on the cards. Having a healthy sexual relationship with ourselves first and foremost is a strong, secure place to come from when going out to seek a lover/s, leaving less room for poor choices made in desperation. It also raises the standard of pleasure we expect from sexual experiences, leaving no desire for selfish/unsatisfying pokes with clueless people.

 And Most Partners Will Find Them Exciting, Not Intimidating - I was talking to my boyfriend in bed the other day, rambling on and on about the new Tennis Coach that just arrived in the mail, and as my thoughts trailed off I said to him, "sorry, I just get really excited about sex toys", to which he replied, "I get excited about how excited you are about sex toys". The notion that your mate will run away screaming in horror when they see the silicone stash you have beside your bed is outdated and untrue. The vast majority of men and women are THRILLED by the idea that their lover has a high enough sex drive, not to mention the curiosity, initiative, and self-knowledge that implies.

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You Can Double Up For Mind-Blowing Results - Most toys are highly versatile and can be used in a whole combination of different ways, together or alone. The Tennis Coach is an internal massager, designed for G-spot stimulation. I've always had a bit of trouble with internal toys, as I'm quite tall and my G-spot is hard to reach if the shaft on a toy isn't long enough. A way around this is to ramp things up with an external vibe like The Surfer on your clit at the same time, or any other sensitive spots. In a Smile Makers Love Box (either Romantic or Sporty) you'll get two toys and a lube, leaving you loads of room to experiment.

They Help You Figure Out What Feels Good - This is obvious, but deserves repeating often. There is no safer or more risk-free way to discover your sexual tastes than through masturbation. Any worries we may have about contraception, how we are perceived, sexually transmitted infections, performance, what they other person enjoys etc, can all go out the window and leave us free to explore in complete peace and solitude and delicious selfishness.

They Can Help Us Push The Boundaries - I had my first internal/blended orgasm because of a toy. I discovered anal play through plugs and toys. My Hitachi wand helped me break my multiple-orgasm record. The list of experiences I wouldn't have had without toys would be as long as my fanciest black linen Shibari rope. No matter what your sexual goal or aspiration, there is a toy that can help you get there.

Tell me in the comments if you've ever tried anything from Smile Makers, or what your all-time favourite toy is!

Valentine's Gift Guide For Very ~Aesthetic~ Women

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Two-toy Romantic Love Box, by Smile Makers // Coco de Mer salons and day-schools, go to Coco de Mer for availability // Rose Jam perfume, by LUSH Kitchen, subject to availability // "Off To Daddy's House" overnight bag, Alien Outfitters // "Bad Bitch Fuel" hip flask, SkinnyDip // "Babe", by Petra Collins, at all good book stores // Rosebud glass dildo, Alien Outfitters.

Valentine's Day is almost upon us, and if you're anything like me, you'll be spending it gleefully up to your tits in every rose-scented, chocolate-covered, heart-shaped thing you can find. I made my views on Valentine's Day very plain in this post, so I won't bore you with all that again, except to say that this year I'm particularly excited for the big event. I'm lucky enough to be spending it at home with my boyfriend, and it's our first Valentine's together. We'll be exchanging presents, cooking together, taking a LUSH bath, and possibly trying out some of my newest sex toys. I am the easiest person in the world to buy for as I have so many interests, but I know it can be difficult with romantic partners, especially if they are relatively new ones. The above are some unique items and ideas that might spark your imagination for a gift, if you (or the person you're buying for) is anything like yours truly, i.e kinky and all about dem aesthetics.

First we have the Smile Makers Love Boxes, which are a really good choice if your partner is new to sex toys or if they get turned-off by garish-looking dildos and huge rabbits. All the toys from Smile Makers come in ultra-smooth silicone and cute pastel colours, and I'm in love with their range of lubricants! A Love Box contains two toys and a lube, so they make a great gift. If you want to read more about them I did a review of their lightest toy, and I have another one in my drafts, so keep an eye out for that.

Next up we have Coco de Mer salons in London, day-schools and workshops you can attend alone, with a friend or as a couple, that will teach you new sexual skills and introduce you to new sensual experiences. Workshops range from expert instructions on burlesque, to oral sex, from Tantra to rope bondage. It's on my bucket list to attend one in 2017!

LUSH products make amazing presents all year round, but anything Rose Jam feels very right for Valentine's Day. The "Off To Daddy's House" overnight bag is perfect for the girl who just doesn't give a fuck, or wants to show off her babygirl status when she's waiting for a train. The "Bad Bitch Fuel" hip flask from SkinnyDip is similarly badass. "Babe" by Petra Collins makes a gorgeous and thoughtful gift for artistic women, photography-lovers, bloggers, or indeed anyone.

Glass toys are fantastic for many reasons, not least of all their versatility. Some glass dildos are truly Art with a capital A, taking all kinds of whimsical and aesthetically-pleasing shapes and colours. This one is my most recent favourite, as it reminds me a little of Beauty and The Beast. It's by Alien Outfitters, and for something so beautiful, is very reasonably priced. If it's sold out, Lovehoney do similar designs!

Some of the links in this post are affiliate links from which I may earn a small commission should a purchase be made :)