Showgirl Wishlist

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I've said it before and I'll say it again, stripper heels are the most comfortable heels you'll ever wear. The skintight plastic means they never rub or give you blisters, and the plush cushioned soles make it possible to dance and run around in them all night. The pair I usually wear are only 4" with no platform, from the Pleaser bikini-fitness range (a great option for tall girls, or dealing with low ceilings). However, now that I have some auditions coming up and will be performing in different venues, doing different shows, I want to get a more theatrical pair just for stage performances. I have my heart set on these rose-bud beauties. I want to frolic like a woodland Barbie.  

I also want to get myself feeling fierce for September and book in for rose quartz or amethyst acrylic nails. Crystal and marble effect nails are my new favourite thing, check them out on Pinterest if you don't know what I'm talking about. I was going to get eyelash extensions too but seeing as I sleep on my front, I think I'll stick to falsies. A new Pacifica perfume would be great too, and some Urban Decay Setting Spray. In an ideal world I'd be filling my closet with fantastical outfits from Love Child Boudoir, like the gorgeous flowery harness top above. I'm also going to re-read my copy of Striptastic by Jacq The Stripper, which the utter babe sent me a while back! I insist you check it out, it's red-hot, scorching genius from a fellow ripper babe. All of this stuff will be thrown into a new weekender. Hopefully a cute eggshell one from Victoria's Secret PINK.

Unblocking My Creativity

My creativity ebbs and flows. It dips and rises in sync with the seasons of my life. When I feel like I am being pushed forward relentlessly, my urge to make things simply disappears. I cannot find the energy to reflect when I am focused on living, on finding my way out, or through. I'm not talking about periods of depression; I'm talking about the outward-facing or exhausted dark times of the soul. Times when maybe some part of you is being forged, and you cannot stop to describe it. The days (weeks, months...) afterward can be even worse for my productivity. Numb and quiet days spent staring at my phone, or consuming art instead of making it. Although I should be used to them, times without creativity still scare me. That never goes away. It always feels as if they will never end. Is that it, I ask myself? Will my ability to bring new ideas into the world just run out some day? Has it run out already? Am I going to feel bored forever, unable to shift? You never get used to it. It is hard to have faith.

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Everyone is different, but here are some things that help me when I get stuck like this. Re-reading the chapter on creativity in Women Who Run With The Wolves. Designing a playlist of brand new music for inspiration. Remembering that this has happened before, and will happen again. Plenty of time spent alone, drinking coffee. Forcing myself to move, as difficult and unnatural as it feels, pick up my camera, my notebook, my laptop, whatever, and make something. Asking myself as gently as possible to remember and to recreate the parts that hurt. Come to terms with the fact that whatever you make will be shit. The finished result is not the point - the point is to unblock yourself. I am clearing out my creative drain. I don't need to have something for Instagram at the end of it. It doesn't have to feel good.

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Limiting my time on social media also really helps me. The other day I went out and bought a pin-board, and some cute rose gold pins from Paperchase. It just felt like something I wanted to do, and I'm glad I did. It's provided a physical space where I can work on visual ideas quickly with my hands, without picking up my phone and falling into a vortex. I haven't added a page to my kink scrapbook in a long time, even though I have more than enough raw material to draw from. I'm planning to make a series of works inspired by my last stint as a stripper, and for that, I know I will need all my skills warmed-up and ready to go. I also want to do a few pages on magic and witchcraft. The pin-board is practice space, an experimentation and reminder. I'm taking more pictures, writing more posts, and I have a clear vision of my autumn content. Bringing it all into the world has already begun, but for me creativity is a wave that I have to ride, as I wait patiently for it to reach its peak. I have a tendency to burn myself out faster than I need to, and speed up the repetition of the cycle. As I grow older, I want to learn to accept the waves however they crash, and learn to harness them better when they come. For they will come.

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How To Have A Good Skin Day

I first heard about Tropic skincare from my mum; she brought me home a Super Greens Serum from London to try out; it immediately worked well with my clogged-pore prone, combination skin. Using three drops before bed, when my face is still wet with toner, has given me noticeable results and much more confidence in my skin. It made my face feel plumper, brighter, and "fed" by the morning. That was a few months ago now, and through Super Greens, I've become a raving fan of the brand. Adding Good Skin Day Resurfacing Serum to my night-time ritual has only made things even better. It's another serum, designed to be used 3-4 times a week; I alternate these two products each night, so that my skin gets a balance of nutrients. After a night using Good Skin Day, my skin feels balanced, more youthful, almost a bit... airbrushed? It's hard to describe, but I'll go into more detail about how the product actually works to give you a better idea.

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Good Skin Day is a resurfacing product. It contains willow bark BHA, which exfoliates your skin, leaving it smoother and softer, and AHA fruit enzymes. It's also packed with glycolic and hyaloronic acids, both amazing for fighting red marks from past blemishes. On your fingers, it feels really light and thin, drying quickly on the face and leaving you with that ultra-clean, tingly feeling as it refines the top layer of your skin. I'm obsessed with the sweet, sugary papaya scent; it's not overwhelming at all and I honestly look forward to putting it on at night. 

In the last month of using it I've probably had one, maybe two spots, and those were hormonal ones arriving like clockwork just before my period. A vast improvement from before I started using this serum. My pores and skin texture are noticeably refined; my makeup goes on smoother, and I use a very light layer of foundation now, if any. I feel like my face is a lot calmer, more even, and just generally less troubled. Tropic products can be quite pricey (Good Skin Day retails at £42, which isn't too bad for something all-natural, vegan, cruelty-free, and effective) but they do last a very long time. Because you only use a few drops, serums last me literally months. I've hardly made a dent in mine even though I've been using them consistently.

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If you have similar skin to me, with a multitude of small, mild issues, then I really recommend this. It will be especially good for those in their twenties, who may be fighting blemishes, fine lines, clogged pores and redness all at the same time. If you don't quite know what is up with your skin or how it could be better, but you just know it could be, that's exactly where I was at too, and I feel like I've made huge improvements recently. Where are you guys at on your skincare journey?

This post was NOT sponsored but contains products sent for review, see my PR page for details

How I Practise Magic In My Daily Life

I was raised in a Pagan family. Every year we celebrated Samhain as well as Halloween, with candlelight and midnight dancing, tequila on the kitchen table for the adults, no bedtime for the kids. I learned the relationships between colours, planets, stones, elements, emotions. I learned how to feel at home in the forest, and I learned how to let go. I was taught that animals are friends, not food, and I still believe that now. I became a person who wants to make everything around her more beautiful. Someone who is kind, I hope. Magic was such a huge part of my upbringing, a way of living; so much less about ritual than simply a way of interacting with the world. As a result, people often misunderstand what I mean when I talk about magic. To me, magic is in the way certain people always know just what you need, or in the way they can bring any dying creature back to life. Science is magical, and magic is not unscientific. Magic is just pure creation. It is influence and control over ourselves, not over others. It is cherishing the earth; something most of us have forgotten how to do.

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I do many things to bring more magic into my life. I grow plants in my home. Having living things around me, growing and flourishing and being born over and over again helps me stay in tune with the seasons and with the needs of other life forms. It reminds me of the cyclical nature of life, and of my eventual insignificance, and simultaneous preciousness.

I draw a tarot card when I get up in the morning, or sometimes I pluck a book off my shelves, close my eyes and point to a sentence at random. Whether you believe in the Tarot or not, doing this will bring things from your subconscious into your conscious mind, allowing them to be processed and worked through. 

I make a ritual bath. By this I don't mean just throwing in a bath bomb or two, but of course you can do that! What I tend to do is think of what I want to achieve (do I want to feel sexual, calm, safe, to get a good night's sleep?) and then work synesthetically around that. I use colours, scents, flowers, products, and temperatures that work together to change my physiological and mental state. 

I try to stay in tune with the phases of the moon, with Pagan festivals, and on a wider scale, the seasons of the year. You can do this with an app, an almanac, or even a good daily diary. Eventually it becomes a habit. I've always been a moon-worshipper by nature and I look to her instinctively on nights when I feel happy and alive, to give thanks. I'm also guilty of screaming "THERE'S BLOOD ON THE MOON" at the slightest wisp of red.

I enjoy reading my horoscope, but not every witch does. I personally don't think you have to believe in astrology for it to bring you inspiration. A good astrologer speaks like a philosopher, and can trigger realisations without faith. For an in-depth monthly forecast, I go to Susan Miller, and for weekly poetic insight I check out Madame Clairvoyant. Refinery29 and Teen Vogue also do cool horoscopes.

I write down my dreams, and use them in my writing and in my art. During stressful periods of my life, I suffer with sleep paralysis, which causes intense lucid dreams and hallucinations. I try to view them as a creative gift, rather than a curse, and just a part of my own personal magic. I draw, write down, or even come up with a photograph to record what I saw in my dreams.

I chat to other witches. If you don't know any who live near you, why not set up a WhatsApp group or online Coven? Having that support and understanding is invaluable and can help you learn so much, just by asking questions and sharing your experiences with other witchy people. Try filling your Twitter feed with magic too; I recommend Audrey Kitching, Anastasjia Louise, and The Hoodwitch for starters.

Dancing, lastly, is one of the most vital ways I stay in touch with my power and with myself as a woman. Whether I'm doing it on stage, in private, at home, on a dance-floor or in a field, through dancing I can work myself into a trance-like state where I feel most free and uninhibited. That's where the magic happens. 

Why We Should All Be Using More Lube

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This post contains paid-for content, see my PR page for details


There are loads of shitty ideas out there about how sex (and vaginas, especially) ought to be, and frankly I'm sick of it. In my honest opinion, everybody should be using lube as a sex enhancement simply because it makes sex feel better for everyone, as well as helping minimize any chances of injury. You're not broken if you need lube. Whether you own a foreskin or a vagina, make "the wetter the better" your personal sex mantra. Forget whatever you may have heard from magazines or clueless partners about how your sex organs are supposed to work, and start doing what feels good. Lube can make it easier to get aroused, to stay aroused, and even to orgasm. Read on if you want to get the most out of your lubricant.

Lube Is Not A Shortcut: Lube isn't designed as a replacement for being properly turned-on. This misconception convinces some people that it is fine to rush ahead with sex as long as everything is wet, or makes them think that if they get wet on their own they have no need for it, neither of which is true. The reason we need lubricant is because our bodies can only produce so much even if we are completely gagging for it; foreplay is still required so that vaginal/anal muscles are relaxed. If you're finding sex is painful even if you're slathering on lots of lube, it might just be because you're skipping all the completely essential preparation. If you want to have prolonged, strenuous, rough or adventurous sex then you absolutely should be using a lubricant and enjoying lots of foreplay to make it as pleasurable as it can be for all parties. And just so we're all clear, SPIT IS NOT LUBE. Spit is fun, safe and fine to use during sex, but it is not lubricant. It is not the same consistency as natural moisture, and will only get you so far. If you spit all over a vagina it is only going to wash away and water-down any juices that are being produced. Enough already.

You Can Find A Lube For Every Occasion: The more tailored to you it is, the better sex will feel. Having the right thing to hand makes all the difference. For example, if you enjoy rough sex, anal, or want to play with large toys, then a thick lube like Generous Gel is what you're after. If you like a realistic feel that you'll hardly know is there, go for Stay Silky Serum. For a super thin, spit-like texture you would get from oral, try Little Light Liquid. All Smile Makers lubes are vegan-friendly, as well as body-safe, water-based, and condom-compatible. They only contain a handful of ingredients (the fewer the better) and come in dressing-table worthy, minimalist, and sensual packaging. No garish fonts or gaudy colours here. This range is all unscented and unflavoured, but I can definitely see an opportunity for Smile Makers to add a couple of subtly-garnished products to their offerings. I could totally imagine sweet and understated tastes like rose, vanilla, candy floss, or green apple working really well with their brand. The thing I like most about them is that they never feel sticky, like other lubricants can, and are pretty much undetectable once applied. They have never irritated my skin or stained my sheets, either. For all these reasons, they are my go-to no matter what kind of sex is on the cards. If you give them a go, send me a tweet or let me know in the comments, and if you just want to chat about lube I'm totally here for that too.

A Week On A Fetish App

For introverted kinksters, the dating world can sometimes be fraught with anxieties and awkwardness. It's hard enough, in jarring fleshy reality, to figure out if someone might be interested in you at all, let alone appreciate your enthusiasm for being slapped across the face or wearing a fluffy butt plug and meowing like a cat. Adding kinks into the mix only makes things more complicated. It can become a minefield of subtle hinting and what feels like huge emotional risk. I don't have a very good freak-radar, and often find out people are completely closed to trying new things only once it's too late and my heart is already committed. Where do you turn when, for whatever reason, you don't want to deal with guesswork, and get straight down to kinks? Scrolling through Tinder can be laborious if you have rare and demanding needs. There's FetLife, of course, and CollarSpace. Both useful and well-trodden websites, if you're at your desktop. The good thing about those two is that it's easy to fish-out genuine kinksters and experienced fetishists, rather than the simply horny and curious type of single guy that frequent most dating apps, hoping to meet sexually confident women. But neither are the swiping, kinky singleton-market of dreams.

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At first glance, KinkD does feel like a sort of Tinder for fetishists, and that impression isn't totally misguided; however, KinkD is brand new and still a raw, slippery baby of an app, with inbox errors and a confusing layout. Absolutely anyone can send you a message, not only your matches, and setting up a profile is as anonymous as you want it to be, no Facebook login required. Get your blocking finger lubed-up, pals, if you want to try this app. It's difficult to exist as a woman online - to exist as a kinky woman is just that little bit harder. There's nothing fun, or flattering, about having to sift through threats to find the sparks of rapport and excitement. What I find most tiring though, strangely, is the relentless stream of approaches that are simply not right for me; a barrage of stabs in the dark from men who haven't read my profile, begging to be beaten, to be punched in their tiny dick, to be my loyal minion; the profiles with no avatar who send an intrepid "hey" four times in a row. Within 24 hours I received over 300 messages. There are so many ways to like, heart, wink, message, and match with people that it's difficult to bundle together your faves in one place, which means the good ones are easily lost. Some use cringe and hilarious usernames. "CumEaterBoy3000" (not to be confused with that imposter, CumEaterBoy4000), "Vindaloo", and "SlipperyFun4U" were some of my personal favourites. Not as people, I'm sure you understand.

So, did I find what I was looking for on KinkD? Yes, mostly. Due to technical errors, it was impossible to clear my inbox, and deleted conversations kept reappearing; I had to engage my intuition and be more ruthless about asking myself, "do I trust this person enough to share my blog or phone number?" which actually resulted in less time wasted. I have plans to meet one prospective Dom, which is very exciting, but I no longer actually use the app now that I've rinsed it of suited and bearded daddies. If KinkD can fix its messaging problems, and take a little more care to enhance the user-experience for women, then it may become a haven for kinky people. Until then, I think it's somewhere they can go, but not somewhere they can stay.

A Little LUSH Haul (And Cardiff Spa Opening!)

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I never thought I'd have so much in my LUSH stash that I would feel compelled to spread the love and give some away to friends and family, but recently that's exactly the position I've found myself in. Having a mate who works for one of my all-time favourite companies, I end up going in there to so often and picking up samples, hauls, and little treats. On top of that, LUSH recently opened their Cardiff Spa mega-store, and I was lucky enough to be invited along to the press night to take a tour around all the treatment rooms and see the new shop. I'm sure most of my Cardiff-based readers will have already been in to town and visited the new store, but if you haven't, make sure you do. You'll love the upcycled, minimalist, industrial interior. I was blown away by the treatment rooms and just how unique and immersive the spa experience has been designed to be. Soon I'll be having my first ever LUSH spa treatment, The Comforter?, and I'll be blogging all about that too, so keep an eye out!


For now I'm going to take you through some of the absolute best products I've bought or received as presents lately. I must start with Tea Tree Water, as I've been using it every day as my toner for several weeks now, and it's delightful. For the price (it's £4.75 for a small one, which has lasted me a couple of months) it's a great quality, refreshing toner that actually feels like it's doing your skin some medicinal good. I will be re-purchasing. Next up is Mask Of Magnanimity, swiftly becoming my favourite mask. The texture of this is mouse-like and grainy at the same time, and it smells and feels almost as if you're smearing mint chocolate chip ice cream on your face. I've been using it more often than is required and have definitely noticed an improvement in my skin, and fewer breakouts. Pearl massage bar has been my go-to post-shower moisture shot; it's in the Rose Jam family, so it smells almost spiritual. Enzymion is the facial moisturiser that my skin wants right now, as it's packed with lemon juice, and in the summer my skin wants to feel light, matte, and fresh. I'll be buying a full pot when I next splash out, and maybe one of the exclusive body sprays from the Cardiff store. I've got my eye on the scent version of Twilight.

Recent Cruelty-Free Beauty Favourites

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Lately, I've been rejuvenating my skin and hair care routines; focusing on natural, cruelty-free products, and picking up bits that have helped me reshape and properly tailor my regimen to my needs. In recent months I've been far too lazy with it all, and my skin and hair really paid the price. I went to bed wearing my makeup too many times, and had gotten to a point where washing my face in the morning felt like a chore, not a ritual. When it wasn't full up with temporary colour, my hair was dry from bleaching. I'd grown out nearly six inches of fresh roots, but I still needed to give my lengths a bit more TLC. I had fallen totally out of love with beauty, and knew it was time for a spring clean.

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First, I started with my combination skin. I decided to take a Korean-inspired approach, and build a more specialized routine. Instead of going back to a brisk cleanse, tone, and moisturise, I gradually introduced more steps and built a skincare ritual that aims to clean and tighten my pores, balance redness, and help with hormonal breakouts. I picked up two serums, LUSH Full Of Grace and Tropic Super Greens. The latter is about as close as I've found to a holy grail product; it leaves my skin feeling smoother, calmer, and healthier, like a literal green smoothie for your face. It fades any blemishes whilst not clogging up pores with oil. I love how I look in the morning now, thanks to this serum. Full Of Grace has had less of a trial as I'm keeping it at my boyfriend's house, but I'm still loving it. It's packed with calamine powder, Portobello mushrooms, and chamomile blue oil, and it sinks beautifully into the skin without any greasiness.

When it comes to my hair, I need to be careful to provide enough moisture without over-saturating my mop with heavy products. Regardless of the colour I'm sporting, the Hempz Blushing Grapefruit And Raspberry shampoo and conditioner have been treating me really well; they smell sweet and fruity, and not at all like hemp. I even use the conditioner as a mask or a pastel-iser for my hair dye, and it works a treat.

On my body, I've been trying out the new The Body Shop Almond Milk And Honey range. For me, the standout is the body butter. I've always been a big fan of Body Shop body butters; the formula is pretty perfect for dry or thirsty skin, and they have a cult following for a good reason. The cleansing bar was a nice surprise, a product I wouldn't try but ended up loving. Instead of using it on my face I use it to gently cleanse my neck, decolletage and chest, where regular soaps or shower gels can be a bit too harsh for me. All of the products seem to go a long way as well, which is a huge plus if you're slathering yourself daily, trying to be rid of the scaly hide you've grown over winter and emerge, dolphin-like, into spring. As I am.

One last thing I really want to mention is the Body Shop BB Cream. I fell in love with this product in Morocco, after picking it up in Stansted airport for a tenner. Since I bought it, I haven't worn regular foundation, only this and a bit of concealer. My skin is thanking me for the change, and I'll definitely be re-purchasing soon. It does a great job of adapting to my pale yellow-toned skin, and not aggravating any breakouts. I get so many more "your skin looks lovely" kinda compliments now that I use this, which is not the most important thing in the world, but sure is pleasant.

Some of the products here were sent for review/as pr samples, but as always my review is completely honest, see my pr page for more details